Forgetful fiancé's favoritism between 2-month-old and 1-year-old daughters upsets 26-year-old mom: 'He's acting like it's no big deal’

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Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 31, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Like basically any other aspect of life, one's quirks should be different with and without children. Being a little careless with money while single is fun—getting paid biweekly and living large the first week, surviving on leftover takeout the second. Being a spontaneous partner and surprising your significant other with sudden, irresponsible getaways can even be romantic. Even forgetfulness can be cute when it involves significant dates like birthdays or that leftover takeaway you should have put in the fridge and not in the microwave for four days—slightly annoying, but no harm, no foul.

But when your partner is a parent, and they forget your child, those quirks suddenly turn from charming to enraging.

Forget groceries? They'll spoil, but the world won't end. Forget a birthday? You can make it up with an overdue cake. But forget a baby in a dark room? That's not quirky; that's scary. It's the kind of forgetfulness that leaves you questioning their attention span as well as their ability to function as an adult.

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  • So, if your partner needs a reminder that the baby is more than just a decorative element in the living room, maybe it’s time to leave a strategic Post-It or two around the house

  • "Fiancé forgot about our 2 month old baby"

    "i feel like i need to remind him EVERYTHING that needs to be done"
    via petrunjela

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • A little backstory - I (f26) & fiancé (m26) have a 1 year old daughter and 2 month old daughter. He's a great dad to our oldest, but we've been having some issues (I get really frustrated) because he can
    via LowAcademic7222
  • become very forgetful to the point where i feel like i need to remind him EVERYTHING that needs to be done. Some examples: paying certain bills at certain points in the month, buying dog food when he already knows we ran out, feeding
    via LowAcademic7222
  • our 1 year old lunch and checking/changing her diaper if he is the only one watching her, washing his work clothes, (he will just put dirty work clothes back on) and a lot of smaller things he tends to forget.
    via LowAcademic7222
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    via kasto

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • With our newest member of the family (our 2 month old) I've been doing all the caretaking. In the beginning when she was first born, I thought it was because I was breastfeeding her so often that he wasn't really able to step in and
    via LowAcademic7222
  • help with anything because I was breastfeeding nearly every 2 hours & it felt like she was glued to my all the time. I've been encouraging him to spend more time with her now that she's not
    via LowAcademic7222
  • feeding as often, and he hasn't really. He has a great bond with our 1 year old and she adores him and he adores her but it seems like he wasn't as excited or enthusiastic about our 2 month old as he is with our 1 year old. He has held
    via LowAcademic7222
  • her only a handful of times in the 2 months since she's been born and changed I think just 1 diaper. He doesn't ask to hold her, he only does when I ask him to, usually if I have my hands full and need to do something.
    via LowAcademic7222
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    via FamVeld

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Well tonight I had just gotten our 1 year old in her jammies and in her crib, and came to my room to fold some of her laundry. My 2 month old was in the baby swing in the living room with my fiancé
    via LowAcademic7222
  • who was still watching tv. Well he walked into the bedroom, plugged in his phone and climbed into bed and closed his eyes. I looked at him and said "where's ******" ? (Our 2 month old) and he said " thought you had her". I "|
    via LowAcademic7222
  • immediately dropped what I was doing and went out to the living room. He had shut off all the lights and tv and walked right past her leaving her in COMPLETE darkness. He claimed he didn't see her in the baby swing. (the baby swing is in
    via LowAcademic7222
  • front of the main walkway that leads straight to our bedroom) I turned on the hallway light and picked her up immediately and hugged her and told her i loved her and that i was so sorry she was
    via LowAcademic7222
  • alone in the dark (she was just looking around wide eyed without a care in the world). But I was very bothered by this. I nearly cried at the thought of him forgetting about her. It immediately
    via LowAcademic7222
  • reminded me of those stories you hear about babies being forgotten in hot cars and I wanted to bawl my eyes out. I don't know if it's postpartum hormones and I'm just overreacting but this was such a big deal to me. My babies are my
    via LowAcademic7222
  • #1 priority and 1st and last thought of my day. He's acting like it was no big deal, an honest mistake and maybe it was. But I genuinely feel like he doesn't care about her as much as our other daughter, or at all. :(
    via LowAcademic7222
  • Superb-Barnacle-3103 You're not overreacting. I'm glad he enjoys playing with your one year old, but he is not forgetting anything. He just expects you to do everything for him. Let him work in dirty clothes, drop everything that isn't for you or your kids. You don't forget to
    via Superb-Barnacle-3103
  • feed a child. That's neglect. I'm sorry you're in that situation but you need to seriously consider if he's actually a father to your kids or just likes playing with one.
    via Superb-Barnacle-3103
  • Celestialhoneyy This ain't just 'forgetful' anymore, this is straight up neglect. He walked past his infant in the dark and went to bed? That's not normal. And him being so dismissive? Huge red flag. The fact that he's so checked out with ur youngest is terrifying. U need
    via Celestialhoneyy
  • to seriously consider couples therapy, or even individual therapy for him. This ain't about hormones, this is about him not stepping up as a dad. U and ur babies deserve better than this.
    via Celestialhoneyy
  • ClarkHartstreet Think about it. The baby was in the living room in the swing and he was watching TV. He knew the baby was there. You were gone with your one- year-old to get her into bed and then you went to fold some laundry.
    via ClarkHartstreet
  • This is a Weaponized incompetence, he knew well she was there. He just didn't wanna be bothered dealing with her, so he climbed into bed and then played dumb that he thought you had her. He wanted to go to bed and he didn't want to have to deal with it, but he knew that you would.
    via ClarkHartstreet
  • He's leaving you to carry the mental load and he's good with that. And that does not make him a good partner or a good father. The fact that he'll wear dirty clothes rather than wash his own clothes, isbecause he wants you to do it.
    via ClarkHartstreet
  • You need to sit down with him and tell him this isn't going to fly, if he wants to stay in your life as a partner and a parent, he needs to step up to the plate. Don't let him give you some bulls excuses, tell him if you don't see it in his actions, he will be gone.
    via ClarkHartstreet
  • If you let this fester and do nothing, you might be putting your children at risk. You are the last line of defence for them and you need to make sure they are safe.
    via ClarkHartstreet

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family drama inheritance aita AITAH brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt in laws mother in law sister fiancé grandmother Father
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